


Everyday Evak: The Realistic Stories of Isak & Even

by NeonViolet, skamsnake



Category: SKAM (Norway)
Genre: Angst, Awkward situations, Fluff, Future Fic, Humor, Kid Fic, M/M, More tags to be added, Real Life, Realistic Fluff, Sexual Content, realistic angst, they have twins
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-11
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-05-05 13:16:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14619339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonViolet/pseuds/NeonViolet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/skamsnake/pseuds/skamsnake
Summary: "Will you jerk me off?""No.""Will you help me jerk off?""Ugh, fine! But i'm not gonna pretend to be into it."Or, realistic looks into Even and Isak's life.It's not always glamorous.





	1. "Will you help me jerk off?"

**Author's Note:**

> We all need fluff sometimes. I get it. It makes the world go round.  
> And we even need melodramatic angst. Who am I to argue that? (Especially when I contribute to it).  
> But sometimes we need real life, which yes, can be monotonous and exhausting - but within that we can also find hilarity.
> 
> This is going to be a chaptered fic of oneshots, but will be cohesive. And it will tell the story of our favorite Norwegian boys - a little more grown up and with different problems to deal with now, then they had when they were in high school.
> 
> Our aim is to make you laugh, but you might also smile from fluff and cry from angst - because that's what happens in real life. 
> 
> (Also, tags will **ABSOLUTELY** be added as we move forward. And also because [Skamsnake](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skamsnake/pseuds/skamsnake) is asleep and she is better at tagging then me.)
> 
> Enjoy!

Isak had just walked into the house after work - actually he was barely walking, dragging his feet was a more accurate description - when he heard the muted grind of the automatic garage door opening. Even was home. 

 

He slid off his shoes, threw his bag on the kitchen table, and lazily undid his belt buckle and pants button as he made his way to the fridge to pull out the leftover pizza from last night. He didn’t bother sitting down, just untucked his shirt and leaned a hip against the counter as he ate the cold slice. 

 

Even walked in, looking just as exhausted but more wrinkled, and made his way towards his husband. Eyeing the box of pizza on the counter beside Isak, he grabbed a slice and leaned in to give him a peck on the cheek. 

 

Isak scrunched up his nose in mild disgust and attempted to move away. “Even you smell like the outside. Gross.”

 

“That’s what happens when you’re on a field trip with 30 something ten year olds and the only place at the museum able to accommodate that many children for lunch are the picnic tables outside the entrance.”  He kept eating, unperturbed by his partners aversion over his current odor. 

 

Isak hummed in response, all his focus on trying to stay awake long enough to finish his makeshift meal and a list of things he still needed to get through this week before he could start to think about weekend plans. 

 

Why was it only Tuesday?

 

-

 

Isak quite literally collapsed into their bed that evening, comforted by the smell and feel of clean sheets. He should probably thank his husband for washing the bedding this weekend, it had been over a month since they last changed the sheets. Not his proudest moment. But not his most shameful one either. He didn’t try to overthink it. 

 

So yes, he should probably thank him. But sleep and silence seemed like the better option. 

 

Isaks body had just started to become heavy and he finally felt sleep begin to take him over when Even turned over and poked at his lower back. 

 

“Isak.”  _ Poke.  _ “Isak, are you awake?”

 

_ For crying out loud! _

 

He let out an annoyed sound. “No.”  The word came out almost indecipherable, his face smooshed onto the back of his hands as he laid on his side. 

 

“Wanna have sex?” 

 

“No. Go to bed.”

 

His words were followed by silence and the slight dip of the bed as Even turned around onto his back. 

 

Isak rearranged his head and let the calm wash over him as he felt sleep come back again. Breaths evening out and becoming more heavy, he could feel slumber within his reach - until he was shaken awake slightly by soft vibrations through his mattress and the unmistakable sound of skin rubbing on skin. 

 

“Even…” he groaned again, “what the hell are you doing?”

 

The movements stopped for a moment. “Trying to jerk off.” They picked up again and Isak was two seconds away from suffocating his husband with a pillow. 

 

“Trying?”  He shouldn’t have asked. Shouldn’t have engaged. You never feed the animals, or they keep coming back for more. 

 

With the bed still shaking and through a few labored breaths he heard his husband speak behind him. “Yeah, trying. It’s not so easy without you.”

 

“I’m sure you’ll manage.”

 

The movements kept going and Isak tried to imagine it to be like the monotonous and soothing motion of sitting in a moving vehicle - but it didn’t have the same effect. 

 

Instead he squeezed his eyes shut, attempting to register the change in speed and countdown to when his husband would orgasm and finish so he could relax and go back to sleep. 

 

There was another pause in the action, and for a moment Isak thought maybe Even had come and he’d just missed the climactic moment. 

 

But then, “Isak?”

 

“What Even?”

 

“Will you jerk me off?”

 

“No.”

 

Silence. 

 

“Will you help me jerk off?”

 

Isak had very little choice in this - if he wanted to get to sleep within the next century his best bet was to get Even off and move on with life. 

 

“Ugh, fine!” He turned over and slid his body so his front was pressed up against his husbands side. He reached his hand down to cup Even’s balls. “But I’m not gonna pretend to be into it.”

 

Even stretched out eagerly and grabbed his dick, beginning to stroke. “Not a problem. I only need a couple minutes anyway.” 

 

“Make it one.” He mumbled into his shoulder and he let his fingers trace circles on his husband, letting them lazily move to the base of his shaft and back down to his testicles. 

 

He closed his eyes, remembering that he should have gone grocery shopping tonight and now he'd have to go tomorrow even though he was staying late at the office to finish up some deadlines. God, he hated grocery shopping alone. Especially when it was a big food haul. They had tentative plans to have both of their families over this weekend for a cookout, which meant buying extra amounts of nearly everything, plus making sure to tailor to at least three different dietary needs.  Isak could never keep up with who was still trying to be vegan and who was diabetic and needed to cut back on the sugar. It was exhausting. 

 

Speaking of exhausting, how late did he think he was going to be at work tomorrow night? Did they have enough in the kitchen to make it two days without food shopping?  The twins were at Even’s parents’ place for two more nights and he’d rather not have to feel rushed at the store tomorrow. They could always do takeout. It wasn’t ideal, but better than nothing. 

 

The sudden feel of Even’s torso tensing spurred him out of his thoughts.  Good, he’s almost there. He gave him a couple firm squeezes in hopes to move things along and was granted with a soft moan followed by the release of his orgasm all over his stomach. 

 

Isak moved his head, not wanting to get out of bed to clean up, but kept his hand on his husband while his worked through the end. 

 

Once he was satisfied that his husband was satisfied, he let go and turned back over on his side. 

 

“Baby, please clean up properly. You just washed this bedding two days ago.”

 

He felt a playful squeeze on his ass, before Even got up and headed to their bathroom. 

 

A few moments later, there was a dip in the mattress as he got back into bed, shuffling in behind Isak to give him a quick hug.. 

 

“Love you sweetie.” he said as he pressed a light kiss on his shoulder. 

 

“You better.” Another mumble, as he couldn’t be bothered to lift his face from where it was smashed into the pillow. 

 

Another kiss to his shoulder and Even moved over to his side of the bed, rearranging himself until he was comfortable and settled in. It was too damn hot for cuddling, and they both knew it. 

 

Isak let the silence hang for a minute before lifting his face up just enough to speak clearly. 

 

“Love you too.”

 

A soft and tired breath from the other side of the bed. 

 

“I know.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Twitter:**   
>  [SkamSnake](https://mobile.twitter.com/skamsnake1)
> 
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	2. Perfect

**Summary for the Chapter:**

>   
>  ****  
>  _Black bouncing curls and beautiful brown eyes wide with excitement. Small hands with chubby fingers stretched towards them, running along the pavement with the determination of olympic athletes and the grace of tiny drunks._   
>    
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow you guys!! We’re completely blown away by the overwhelming response to this fun little fic that we wrote mostly to remind ourselves that the underwhelming, everyday life can be hilarious too sometimes. 
> 
> And thank you so much for all the lovely prompts! Tabby has already started cataloguing (she’s the organized one lbr) and please do keep them coming - we love every single one so far!
> 
> So here we go - have another glimpse into perfectly underwhelming Evak - some humor and a little everyday drama rolled into one.

Isak poured himself a cup of coffee and pushed two nights worth of take-out boxes into the sink. Thank god it was double-sized. He leaned back a bit and squinted his eyes. Perfect. Now he wouldn’t be able to see the trash from his spot on the couch.

 

He heard the soft creaking of floorboards as his husband made his way downstairs.

 

“Coffee?” he asked, looking back over his shoulder as Even entered the kitchen rubbing his eyes.

 

He nodded, stretching his arms above his head.

 

“Jesus fucking Christ my back hurts like a motherfucker!”

 

“Language, Even!” After two years with the twins it felt like a useless plea - but it remained a constant argument regardless.

 

“The girls aren’t even here?” Even rolled his eyes and gestured at the coffee maker lazily, willing it to brew faster.

 

Isak shook his head, sipping from his own already brewed cup. “Honestly, I don’t know how you even managed to get a job as teacher with that filthy mouth of yours.”

 

“You seemed to enjoy my filthy mouth plenty last night” Even smirked, walking over to grab the cup Isak offered once the machine finished. He pulled out a chair and sat down with a grimace.

 

“Fuck, my knees too. Are we really getting that old?”

 

“Speak for yourself old man.” He let that sink in, not missing Even’s small glare aimed at him over his cup. “Also, I think now is a good time to remind you that you were the one who wanted to do it on the floor last night.”

 

“I was trying to be romantic, you know? Passionate? Living the moment? You used to _love_ that shit.  What happened?”

 

“First, I'm gonna need you to pull out receipts showing that I ever claimed sex on the floor was romantic. Sounds like _you_ \- not me. Second, we used to be in our twenties. _Thirty_ , Even. Thirty is what happened.”

 

“I just thought we should have some fun the last night we had to ourselves.”  He adjusted his shoulders, back cracking as he did. “Slightly regretting that decision now. Fun may be overrated.”

 

Isak turned to look at the clock above the stove. He couldn’t remember the last time they had slept in that long. “When are we picking up the girls from your moms?”

 

“Not until four. So we still have five hours before all hell breaks loose. Before evil is unleashed upon us. Before-”

 

“How _did_ you get that job as a teacher again?”

 

Even just shrugged. “So what do you want to do today?” He was ignoring the question.

 

Isak closed his eyes, blissfully thinking about a day of errands completely kid free. “We have a few hours before we absolutely have to get our asses up and go grocery shopping. Wanna get a gin and tonic and catch a few episodes of that cool new show we’re watching together?”

 

Even raised his eyebrows. “You mean that show you can’t even remember the title of, that you’re pretending to watch with me while scrolling through your phone?”

 

“Right. You wanna get a gin and tonic and just sit on the couch and listen to the silence?”

 

Even’s eyes lit up. “That _is_ my favorite sound” He slowly stood, treading carefully as he made his way to the living room, grabbing a throw blanket on the way. “And then maybe get lunch in Grünerløkka and ice cream in the park, pretending to be one of those really cool, kidfr- _care_ free couples?”

 

Isak smiled. _Smooth._

 

He left his unfinished coffee on the counter, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of tonic water and sat down next to Even, tucking his feet under his husband’s thighs to be kept warm as he began scrolling through his news apps.

“Yeah babe. Let’s pretend to be one of those cool couples.” When he didn’t get a response in return, he looked up to find Even’s head thrown on the back of the couch, mouth hanging open and small snores escaping.

 

-

 

It really was a beautiful day to go out for lunch - which they finally realized when they eventually got their asses off the couch and out on their bikes. Sunny and warm, a nice breeze cooling down the city a bit and bringing people out to the small sidewalk cafés and restaurants.

 

The beer was nice too. Perfectly chilled and crisp on his tongue, Isak felt more calm than he had in weeks, months maybe. He would go as far as to say he was _happy_. It didn’t hurt either that Even looked younger and kind of hot in those sunglasses, and Isak almost didn’t mind the fact that they would have to hurry with the shopping before going to pick up the girls in a few hours.

 

“You know,” Isak, whispered, smiling as he circled a finger against Even’s wrist “If we keep it cool, people can’t even _tell_ we’re parents sitting like this?”

 

Even smiled back and tilted his head, small traces of amused pity pouring out of him as he spoke.

 

“I don’t know, babe. The Frozen decor might blow our cover a bit, don’t you think?” He nodded at the giant cargo bike parked next to them, plastered in snowflakes and glitter. It looked kind of ridiculous, and Isak had been slightly annoyed with his wannabe hipster husband importing the damn thing all the way from Copenhagen, but he had to give it to him - it was pretty practical for transporting a set of twins to and from daycare, and the girls absolutely loved it.

 

Isak sighed in resignation. “I’m starving” He glanced impatiently at the waiter clearing one of the neighbouring tables, and then at his watch.

 

“Stop worrying. We still have time.” Even lazily looked over the menu in front of him.

 

“Two hours, Even. I’m _not_ bringing the girls-” he was interrupted by the incessant vibrations of Even’s phone on the table.

 

His husband frowned as he looked at the caller ID and Isak knew even before Even had picked up who would be on the other end. Even answered, and Isak caught on to small traces of the conversation.

 

An emergency. Of course it was an emergency, because why the fuck not?

 

From what he could catch of Even’s conversation with his mother, it wasn’t particularly _urgent_.  And if he knew Hilde like he thought he did - it probably wasn’t urgent at all.

 

He loved his in-laws. He did. Well, kinda. Hilde was an acquired taste. But he knew deep deep down, if he really digged hard to find it, that when it came to it, they would start wars for their granddaughters.

 

However, Hilde could get distracted and tended to be self absorbed and socially tone deaf at times. And Isak’s patience was non existent when it came to willful intolerance and ignorance.

 

Can’t teach an old dog new tricks, and all that.

 

As it turned out, she was already on her way with the twins, and Isak could see his dream of a relaxing trip to the grocery store, hand in hand with his husband, shatter and slowly fade into dust.

 

He felt his irritation rising and knew he should keep it in check. It wasn’t as if she hadn’t just babysat for him the last two days - but when has that ever stopped him before?

 

“So what’s the emergency, then? A trip to the golf course? An opening at the hairdresser?”  He sipped his beer and rolled his eyes at no one in particular.

 

“She did mention something about hair actually”

 

“You didn’t even ask?!”

 

Even gave him a half hearted apologetic look as the server brought a basket of bread to their table.  “Just eat your food while you can.”

 

Isak reached for the bread, letting his husband order for him while he tore apart at the roll in his hand and forcefully shoved the pieces into his mouth.

 

It was easier to get along with his mother in-law when he didn't have to count on her for anything.  Moments like this brought on resentment when he felt like his daughters were more of an inconvenience to her newly acquired retirement lifestyle, than anything else.

 

It was another long and old argument - and while his husband didn’t disagree, he was more inclined to try and keep the peace. Which usually left Isak to stew in his thoughts and allow himself the tiniest bit of redemption in subtle manipulative remarks.

 

Isak’s thoughts were interrupted by squeals of joy coming from behind. And as much as he wanted to continue the passive aggressive chewing, he couldn’t help but feel his heart swell a little in his chest and his lips curl into a wry smile.

 

“Daddy daddy _daddy_!”  

 

Even had gotten up from his seat, now kneeling next to him with his arms wide and smile just as open.

 

Isak looked in the same direction, finding the sight they now shared, however well known, still melting his heart.

 

Black bouncing curls and beautiful brown eyes wide with excitement. Small hands with chubby fingers stretched towards them, running along the pavement with the determination of olympic athletes and the grace of tiny drunks.

 

He held his breath, silently praying they wouldn’t trip or collide on their way, and when they knocked Even off balance with their eager hugs, he breathed a sigh of relief.

 

He pushed his chair out slightly, just in time to be tackled by his oldest (by seven minutes), Ava.

 

She planted a wet kiss right on his lips, then quickly got distracted by the basket of bread - stretching behind him to reach for a roll, almost knocking over his beer.

 

Isak leaned back to give her more room, making sure to move his glass out of her reach. From this position he could get a better look at both girls, his brow immediately dipped in frustration when he looked at their hair, and as if he could feel the irritation Isak was emitting, Even lifted his eyes above Olivia’s head to make eye contact with him. Eyes narrowed and pleading Isak to keep his mouth shut.

 

And like clockwork, Hilde appeared in front of them - two matching lime green duffel bags with the girls’ names monogrammed on them, one in each hand.

 

He heard the small imperceptible shrill of her voice, probably greeting her son and making shallow conversation just long enough to be polite before jetting off again, but Isak wasn’t listening and with a tight smile he looked up at her with mildly masked annoyance before he spoke.

 

“Too busy to manage doing their hair before leaving the house?”

 

He avoided Even’s gaze, although he hoped that this time he would be just as exhausted with his mother’s excuses as Isak was. He kept his eyes on Hilde as she set the bags down, laughing and waving him away like he was a bug flitting across the room, and not the indignant father defending his daughters’ dignity that he was.

 

“Isak, you know I never understood _that_ kind of hair. Just isn’t a skill I ever acquired.” She kept the red lacquered smile plastered on her face, and before he could counter her with an even more biting remark, Even stood up with Olivia on his hip and leaned in to kiss his mother farewell.

 

Placing her gaudy designer glasses over her eyes, she called out a goodbye to the girls, which was returned with distracted mumbles from each twin.

 

Even settled back into his chair, Olivia on his lap, as he absentmindedly handed her fries from his plate before he acknowledged his husband’s obvious discomfort and anger.

 

He held up a hand and spoke.  “Before you say anything - I agree.” His look was pointed but his tone was yielding.

 

Isak aggressively cut up the chicken breast on his own plate in easy bite size chunks for Ava, every now and then making sure the two year old on his lap didn’t over stuff her mouth like she tended to want to do.

 

“If you agree, then why the hell didn’t you say anything?” he said through gritted teeth. Hissing our the word _hell_ , and feeling a little better when the girls didn’t seem to notice.

 

He waved down their server again, not giving Even a chance to respond, and quickly ordered juice boxes for the girls and cancelled the extra plate of fries he had just ordered. Appetite gone for the time being.

 

He watched as his husband reached down and fished around the inside of one of the bags, retrieving a comb and two hair ties, before passing one across the table to Isak.

 

They both quietly began to work on their daughters’ hair, combing the tight curls and smoothing it all in place with the comb, before tying them up in a round puff on the top of their heads. It was all they would be able to manage for the time being.

 

Adopting identical twin girls came with its own set of challenges, Isak and Even knew this going in. But adopting two African Norwegian babies, and raising them in a country populated predominantly with a Caucasian demographic provided an entirely different set of challenges altogether.

 

They understood that as two white men, raising their Nigerian daughters was more than just learning the culture and cuisine and teaching their girls about their country in a way that made them proud. But it was also the overlooked details like learning to braid and do protective hairstyling for them, and remembering to put lotion on their arms and legs every morning.

 

Every part of it was something they understood, accepted and eagerly learned - all consumed with love for the two chubby babies that they brought home that cold February day. And their friends and family had willingly and lovingly rallied around them in this effort. But Hilde’s flippant attitude towards these issues for the last two years was beginning to wear thin on Isak’s patience. And he refused to allow someone to tell him he was overreacting.

 

He instinctively pressed his lips to Ava’s head and wrapped his left arm around her waist just a little tighter - fighting a bit against the wriggling toddler as she shoved another handful of food in her mouth - crumbs all over her face and hands, and a grease spot on the collar of her yellow dress.

 

“You’re right.”

 

“Hmm?”  He looked up at Even, who had already taken out the pack of wipes and was cleaning a loudly objecting Olivia as he spoke.

 

“I said you’re right. I love my mother, even with all of her somewhat intolerable quirks.”  He raised an eyebrow at Isak, as if challenging him to describe her differently. “But when it comes down to it, Ava and Olivia are where my loyalties lie.”

 

He handed Olivia over to Isak when he was done. Switching girls and wiping down Ava with equal amounts of protesting. “If she can’t take care of the girls the way they need to be taken care of, then maybe we should be limiting the time she spends with them in general. They’re getting to the age where they comprehend far more than I’m ready for, and I don’t want them feeling ashamed of themselves because of my mothers misplaced words and ignorance.”

 

“Ok.” It was all the response he was willing to give at the moment. Too many competing feelings stirring inside for him to feel like he could articulate himself in a way that wasn’t emotionally charged. They could revisit this conversation later.

 

They strapped the girls into the Christiania bike and as he climbed onto the seat of his own bicycle, Olivia yelled out happily for anyone within earshot to hear, “Daddy, I pooped!”.

 

_Perfect._

 

-

 

Isak’s eyes flew open. It was dark, and he was mildly hyperventilating, wondering if the whole thing had just been a stress dream. Taking a moment to adjust to his surroundings, he realized that the quiet snoring around him indicated that _no_ , the disastrous failed attempt at grocery shopping with both girls was in fact _very_ real.

 

Isak had walked aimlessly around the store trying to recall the shopping list that they had _conveniently_ forgotten on the kitchen counter, while Even was struggling to keep the girls from climbing the sides of the cart, taking turns badgering for crackers and sweets - whining, “But _grandma_ says we can!”

 

Even had finally given in, ripping open a box of crispbread they hadn’t paid for yet and handing them another juice box each from their bag just to keep them quiet for a little while. Soon they realised though, that Ava had apparently been allowed to start potty training at her own request, now relieving herself of two juice boxes into a non-existing diaper, crying and insisting that grandma had said she could, as Even tried to calmly explain to her she was still too young to go out without a diaper.

 

Isak had cursed under his breath as they found their bags not stocked up with new diapers or extra clothes. They were forced to leave the cart full of groceries and go home immediately, ordering take-out for _god knows what time_ this week.

 

It had turned into one of those nights. One of _those_ nights. One of those nights of whining and crying. Of chasing, and bargaining and pleading. Of water splashing all over the bathroom floor and toothpaste everywhere but on their toothbrush, as the girls insisted they wanted to try themselves first.

 

One of those nights, where Isak passed out next to the girls in his bed, not finding the strength to demand they’d stay in their own, silently appreciating Even had bought the biggest one available as a surprise, although Isak wasn’t prepared to admit that just yet.

 

Isak rubbed his eyes. All he really wanted was to just roll over and snuggle into the pillow and wrap his arm around both sleeping girls, but the kitchen was a mess and he still had to do the goddamn grocery shopping.

 

_Thank god for late opening hours._

 

He walked down the stairs in complete darkness, treading as lightly as possible, finding the face of his husband illuminated by blue light from his laptop on the kitchen table, concentrating on something on the screen.

 

“I thought you went to bed?” Even smiled, looking up from his computer.

 

“Yeah, not on purpose. The girls wouldn’t let me leave, I passed out. Are you working?”

 

“Yes just a bit. Go to bed, babe, you look exhausted. I’ll be up in a minute.”

 

Isak looked around the kitchen, finding no trace of the mess he had left behind when going to tuck the girls in for the night.

 

“You cleaned the kitchen?” Isak smiled wide, sounding more surprised than he probably should.

 

“Yes. And a bit of shopping too. I found the list.” He waived the slip of paper at Isak playfully.

 

“I think that’s the most romantic thing you’ve ever done for me” Isak sighed, walking over to place a soft kiss on his husband’s lips.

 

“Aw! I’ll pretend that isn’t the saddest thing I’ve ever heard and take the compliment.” he teased.

 

“You should.” Isak ruffled his hair lovingly, turning to walk back up the stairs. “Who knows when you’ll get one again”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! For those of you unfamiliar with what Protective Hair Styling is, you can click [Here](https://www.naturallycurly.com/curlreading/protective-styles/what-are-protective-styles) for a quick explanation into the world of ethnic and natural hair. 
> 
>  
> 
> Also, [Here](https://goo.gl/images/AyNuiX) is what we imagine Ava & Olivia to look like. 
> 
>  
> 
> Comments bring you membership to the Illuminati.
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> They give you telepathic abilities.
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> They feed our egos. 
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> Two of those things are a lie. 
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> <3  
> Come talk to us!  
>  **Twitter:**  
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> **Tumblr:**  
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	3. Even Has Left The Conversation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **Isak:** Nothing much. Can't a man miss his husband? Is that not allowed?  
>  **Even:** You're horny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a short little something to finish your weekend.
> 
> This was inspired by a real text. 
> 
> Next update **very** soon.
> 
>  
> 
> **EDIT:** I forgot to mention that the incredible [Sofia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SophiaSoames/pseuds/MermaidsandMermen) spent her evening talking me through how to post images in a fic. So thank you so much my love!!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, comments pay Ava & Olivia's tuition.  
> They help to impeach Trump  
> They feed our egos.
> 
> Two of those are lies. 
> 
> <3
> 
>  
> 
> **Twitter:**  
> [SkamSnake](https://mobile.twitter.com/skamsnake1)
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> **Tumblr:**  
> [NeonViolet](https://Pinkskam.tumblr.com/)  
> [SkamSnake](https://skamsnake.tumblr.com/)


	4. Working late, babe.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**Isak:** Working late, babe. Sorry. I’ll try to make it home for dinner. You’re picking up the girls right?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y’all, life is funny. It’s downright hilarious sometimes. Whether it’s failed attempts at sexting or kids who say things out of turn because inhibitions haven’t kicked in yet. 
> 
> But sometimes it’s frustrating and hurtful too. Even without being dramatic. Life is funny that way. 
> 
> That’s just life.

**__________**

**Isak**

Working late, babe.

Sorry. I’ll try to make it home for dinner.

You’re picking up the girls right?

**__________**

_Oh you’ll_ try _to make it home for dinner? That’s so generous of you._

 

Even just texted back a thumbs up with an eye roll, which was honestly mostly at himself, and pocketed his phone with an irritated grunt before turning his focus back on the lesson plan in front of him.

His students were currently in their art class, which gave him about an hour of planning to himself before they came bounding back in his classroom covered in paint and glue and brimming with a new surge of energy that came from having a period away from math and geography.  

After ten minutes of staring at his laptop and accomplishing exactly zero percent of his task, he shut it down and pushed his chair away from his desk, leaning back and stretching his legs out in front of him while he ran his hand through his hair.

He was tired from the day and he hadn’t been sleeping well the last few nights either. Whether it was stress from work, stress from being the father of identical twin toddlers, or his irritation with Isak’s works schedule and apparent disregard for Even’s plans and their family’s routines - Even was exhausted.

This was the third time this week Isak was staying at work late, and the eighth time this month.

Not that Even was counting.

Honestly, it was getting a little old. Especially since Even didn’t get a text informing him of the plan changes until little over two hours before he was leaving work himself, causing him to quickly run through routine changes in his head and find solutions to problems with almost no time to do so properly.

He had pulled out the chicken breasts to thaw last night because he had promised the girls he would make his homemade chicken tenders. They were their favorite. But he had only agreed to it because Isak was going to pick them up from daycare today, giving him the extra time for preparing the meal with minimal interruptions, which Isak had apparently forgot.

Now he was mentally going through the items in their pantry that would make for a quicker and easier meal, disappointed that he wouldn’t get to keep good on his word.

Honestly though, Ava and Olivia had probably forgotten. The attention span of his two year olds was short enough to make a goldfish’s memory seem impressive. But it wasn’t _just_ for the girls - it was something he enjoyed as well. Sitting them in their high chairs, facing the kitchen island while he dipped the meat into the egg and breadcrumbs. Singing loudly and pretending to be grossed out by it all while the girls laughed like he was the funniest person they’d ever met.

And he loved it when Isak was there too, pretending to be annoyed and sneaking the girls whatever unhealthy snack they were obsessed with that week.

_Another time._

-

Even arrived to the daycare and inwardly cringed at the loud cacophony of screams and squeals that greeted him as soon as he stepped over the threshold. Mentally patting himself on the back for choosing a line of work that allowed him to ask his kids at school to at least _try_ to be quiet in class.

He smiled pitifully at the young man sitting in the common area, comforting a boy in his lap with a bruised knee while also wiping another boy’s nose and calmly but firmly requesting two girls at the neighboring table to stop fighting over the scissors.

Even didn’t envy him.

Making his way to the room where the girls would be, he peeked through the glass door before opening it. Scanning the colorful room quickly, he spotted both girls in the back by the book station. Ava was laid out on her stomach, arms and legs spread eagle with eyes closed - his drama queen - and Olivia with her legs perched up on her sisters’ butt while she _read_ a book on her lap.

From where he stood he could see the dirt stains all over Ava’s shirt and the mulch in Olivia’s hair.

_Awesome._

He walked into the room, greeting the two adults working in there before calling out loud enough for his oblivious daughters to hear,

“Where’s my rabbit and worm?”

The nicknames had been given to them by Isak because Ava could never stop jumping up and down and Olivia was constantly wiggling.

At the sound of their father's voice, they both looked in his direction - smiles growing and legs tripping and tangling over each other to get up and make their way to him.

He braced himself for the attack on his legs, leaning over to reach for their backpacks in the cubby next to him, and handing one to each twin to hold/wear/drag to the car.

Buckling the girls in their car seats made him see the extent of their time spent outside today. Sighing while he closed the back door to make his way to the driver seat as he realized baths would not be able to wait until after dinner tonight.

-

The evenings routine hadn’t been as disrupted and troublesome as he had anticipated, both girls relatively mild mannered for this late in the week.  After baths, (which could have gone better and could have gone worse), and settling them both in the living room with crackers and Moana, he decided to move forward with his original plan for dinner - deciding then that the later bedtime for the twins would be worth it.

So he busied himself with the chicken, singing along to every song that came on, belting particularly loudly during Maui’s parts.

Even heard the slam of the front door just as he had turned off the oven, quickly finishing up the strawberries he was slicing for the girls’ lunch tomorrow. He grabbed a stack of four plates and  placed them in the middle of the dining table with a pile of cutlery on top. Between preparing dinner and providing the girls with enough crackers and cartoons to keep them from fighting each other, he hadn’t had time to set the table yet.

He didn’t think he would need to, if he was being honest. Not expecting Isak to make it home in time and planning on eating by himself after he put the girls down for bed.

Even smiled at the sounds of his daughters’ squeals and running hugs and tall tales from their day, of which less than half was probably true. He also smiled at the sounds of the kisses and tickling they were getting in return, happy that Isak did make it home to have dinner with them.

“Oh Moana _and_ your favorite crackers? Someone’s being _spoiled_ huh?” Isak said, and although Even could see Isak grinning at the girls from the dining room, he couldn’t help but wince a little at his words. Of course he knew the girls _shouldn’t_ eat crackers before dinner, and Even had mentioned how he wanted to limit the amount of time they wanted their kids spent in front of the tv.

_You try cooking dinner alone with a set of two year olds around your legs fighting each other._

“Hey babe, sorry for being late” Isak said, placing a sloppy kiss on his cheek and grabbing a piece of chicken right out of the dish Even was trying to get to the table.

“Hey.” Even smiled and turned around to grab some glasses and the pitcher of water from the kitchen, while Isak slumped down on one of the chairs, distributing the plates messily on the table.

“I thought you didn’t want the girls to watch that much tv?” Isak said casually, mouth still full of chicken.

“And I thought you were picking up the girls today. So I guess we both thought wrong.” Even said stiffly over his shoulder. It wasn’t supposed to come out like that, and he instantly regretted it as soon as he turned around and saw Isak, eyes slightly widened.

“Do you need help?” Isak got up from his seat.

“No. Just get the girls in their chairs.”

-

Bedtime was its usual whiny event, both girls hating the confines of their cribs because Isak let them stay in their own bed too often - against Even’s constant protesting.

 

> _“Nothing bad is going to happen to them if they cry themselves to sleep once Isak. But I may actually get a concussion if Ava kicks me in the head one more time or if Olivia wakes me up every other hour for the third night in a row! I need to sleep, Isak.”_
> 
> _“What if they’re crying because they’re afraid or it’s anxiety? They can’t articulate that Even!”_
> 
> _“Then we get a night light, or a white noise machine. Or we play some music or spray their room with lavender. I don’t care. We’ll figure it out. But they are two years old and can self soothe. And I need a goddamn break! We both do!”_

Add that to the list of arguments constantly on loop these days.

He picked up a few toys before leaving the room, keeping the door cracked for their sake and his.

They were rapidly outgrowing these cribs and he knew it would soon be time for their _big girl beds_. It was a thought he dreaded because he wasn’t ready for them to grow up, but he also wasn’t ready for them to walk into his bedroom at night either.

Damn, he missed sleep. Like, really missed it. At what age do you get it back?

He climbed down the stairs to get lunches ready for the morning, still irritated enough with his husband that he hoped he’d take the hint and just let him give him the silent treatment in peace.

Isak was leaning against the counter, going through a stack of papers from daycare. He looked up, waving a brochure around slightly.

“It’s picture day tomorrow.”

Even nodded curtly, loading up the lunch boxes and placing them in the fridge to stay cool until morning.  

“Did you pick out outfits for them? You usually like to-“

“No Isak. At no point during this afternoon did I have the time to plan their outfits for tomorrow. I was too busy putting out fires because Olivia thinks that bathtime means bedtime and was screaming when I put them in the tub because they somehow managed to roll around in dirt all day. And then Ava was mad at me for making her sister cry.”

He placed his hands on the counter in front of him and looked at his husband, challenging him silently to say something.

“And did you forget that Ava ripped her rainbow skirt on the playground last week? That _had_ been the original plan, but you know she’ll have a fit if we don’t match her with her sister for the pictures. So no, Isak. I don’t have anything chosen for them. You can put them in jeans and t-shirts for all I care.”  He straightened up, running his palm over his face a couple times - weary from the day and from this tension.

Isak turned around, reaching for a bag on one of the dining room chairs. “Even, I don’t know what the fuck you want me to do about work right now. I either stay late or I fly to Tromsø for the next two weeks to fix the mess this team has made.”

There was an edge in his tone, but the usual bite was gone. He placed the bag on the counter in front of Even. “I found this in my car. I forgot I ordered these last week when Ava ripped her skirt. It shipped to my office and it just slipped my mind. I wanted to surprise you.”

Even opened the bag to find two matching pink Adidas track suits.

He looked up at his husband, holding his stare and trying to read his mind.

A beat passed. Then two.

“I’m fucking tired Isak.”

“Yeah,” a breath, “I know.”

It wasn’t a promise. It wasn’t empathy. It was a, _What the fuck do you want me to do?_

Even turned around, heading back to the stairs.

“I’m going to bed.”

No good night’s.

No I love you’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a little different then the first three chapters - but definitely within the theme of this story’s title. 
> 
> Anyways, comments give you Beyonce’s legs.  
> They stop global warming.  
> They feed our fragile egos. 
> 
> Whose to say some of that isn’t true?  
> I wouldn’t risk it if I were you. 
> 
> <3 love you all!!
> 
>  
> 
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	5. "Babe, have you seen my douche?"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “So what do you want to do today babe?”  
> “You”  
> “Of course. Wanna grab something to eat later?”  
> “Yes. Still you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A meme about sad tops on Thanksgiving and a genuine curiosity about the lack of douching in smutty fics inspired this chapter which we wrote for sexy realness and well.. shits 'n giggles! 
> 
> We love you guys! <3

Even was a hero. Truly.

 

Especially in weeks like these, where most days Isak had no choice but to stay at work after hours. When he dragged his sorry self home way too late, still to be met with a home-cooked meal he wasn’t deserving of and happy kids fed and bathed and ready for the bedtime story that was Isak’s privilege and favorite routine of the day.

 

Isak hated having to work this much. He hated it when he had to leave in the morning even before the girls were awake, and take out his laptop again as soon as they were put to bed.

 

Recently he hadn’t had much choice though with his developer team being two men down and apparently not able to do anything on their own, multiple fires erupting out of nowhere whenever he managed to put out one. If his offshore team didn’t pick up the pace soon, he’d have to fly there himself for at least a few weeks to ensure the new reservoir simulation software was implemented correctly. He didn’t even want to think about how to break that to his husband.

 

In weeks like these, Isak fantasized about quitting his job and doing something completely different, something with a lot less responsibility and a lot more time with his family. But that would also mean less pay and lifestyle changes that he wasn’t sure they were prepared for. He had worked hard and made sacrifices to get where he was now, and Isak wasn’t sure he wanted to give all that up yet. He knew Even sometimes fantasized about it too, but he would never ask Isak to quit his dream.

 

-

 

He had let Even sleep in and enjoyed the sunday morning with the girls, taking them in the cargo bike to the bakery and the adjoining coffee shop to get Even’s favorite coffee beans, and to the small lake in the park to feed the ducks - inevitably getting both girls bitten and their socks soaked in pond water.

 

The smile on Even’s face had been worth it all. Well-rested, warm and sincere as he stepped into the dining room. The table set with warm whole grain buns and yoghurt with homemade granola and strawberries, freshly squeezed orange juice and the smell and sound of his favorite coffee brewing quietly in the kitchen filling the room.

 

“Thanks baby” Even whispered quietly after making a show of praising the girls for going to the bakery and setting the table all by themselves, much to their delight.

 

Even kissed his cheek, then his lips, and Isak noticed how the kiss was softer than usual, lingering and with a hint of tongue. Even had tugged at the curls at the nape of Isak’s neck lightly and he had given him that look. The look that reminded Isak just why he had married Even in the first place. And in that look a promise, a silent agreement, that had Isak wanting his husband more than he had in weeks, morning breath and sleep marks and all.

 

Isak couldn’t stop smiling as he cleared the kitchen counter to the sound of his husband rapping nineties hiphop in the shower. God when did they get this _old_.

 

The girls were taking their nap early in the garden to be ready and well-rested when Jonas was arriving a little after noon. They didn’t really fit the twin carriage anymore, but they loved it and slept so much better outside, and to be honest neither Isak nor Even was prepared to let it go yet either.

 

Isak checked the baby monitor again, smiling as he remembered that one night he’d accidentally mixed up the sender and receiver, live streaming the clattering of plates and his and Even’s lively conversation while cleaning the kitchen plus a full episode of some violent show directly into the girls’ room. They slept through the whole thing of course. Still he insisted on bringing the monitor with him everywhere in the house. Although he admired Even for it, Isak just didn’t have the chill around kids that came with Even’s line of work.

 

Isak stepped into the bathroom and walked over to lift up the toilet seat. From his position in front of the toilet, he could see the outline of Even’s naked body through the steamed glass door.

 

“So what do you want to do today babe?” Isak asked, washing his hands in the sink.

 

“You” Even hummed, turning off the water.

 

“Of course.” Isak smiled. “Wanna grab something to eat later?”

 

“Yes.” Even stepped out of the shower, and Isak watched him in the mirror, eyes following the little droplets of water dripping from his hair and down his shoulder and chest as he walked up behind Isak.

 

“Still you.” Even mumbled into his hair, kissing the back of his neck, making something stir inside Isak.

 

How long had it been since they had done that in broad daylight? Really taken their time with it, taken their time to prepare for it? Not having to settle for a quiet-ish quickie in the laundry room, hands scrambling over mouths to muffle the moans, every once in a blue moon when the girls were miraculously taking a late afternoon nap simultaneously?

 

It made Isak think back to when they were young, still figuring things out. Finding out what they liked and didn’t like together. Watching all sorts of porn and trying out stuff together, giggling when things _clearly_ weren’t supposed to be tried at home. Jokingly comparing it to cheating tv chefs serving the cooked dish before it ever got in the oven, whenever some huge dude would just slide it right in effortlessly.

 

Even was all about foreplay. Isak knew how much he enjoyed putting an effort into setting the scene with scented candles and quiet music from well crafted and thought out playlists. So much so that Isak sometimes regretted not indulging in it more when they actually had the time.

 

“We have time” Even said, leaning against the doorframe, looking at Isak Iike he had just read his mind.

 

“We do” Isak smiled and watched as his husband walked down the hallway, teasingly letting his towel slip down and drop to the floor.

 

 _"_ Dork.”

 

Isak walked over to open the cabinet and reached for the box on the top shelf, looking through their collection of disastrous shower-mounted toys and different types of oil-based lube, not finding what he was looking for.

 

“Babe, have you seen my douche?” he called half way out the door.

 

“Black box, top shelf” Even shouted back from the kitchen.

 

“Already looked. I can only see yours?”

 

“Use that one, then?” Even shouted back, and Isak could almost hear the teasing smile in his voice, knowing full well Isak had always been pretty anal about, well… anal.

 

“Eww Even! That’s been in yours ass, you know that right?!”

 

“What, so has your tongue?” Even had turned up at the door again, taking a sip from the water bottle in his hand. Isak could still tell he was _smirking_.

 

“That’s… _different_.” Isak could feel the heat in his cheeks, blushing like a goddamn teenager, and he wanted to punch Even but instead he pulled him in for a kiss, huffing in mild indignation. “Shut up.”

 

“I think it’s in the travel bag by the way” Even mumbled against his lips. “Don’t you remember?” he pouted slightly pretending to be disappointed, and Isak remembered just how long it had actually been since they went on that dinner-and-a-suite anniversary date.

 

“Don’t get all sentimental on me now. We’re talking about douching here, Even” Isak grinned, gently pushing Even out the door and closing it behind him, picking up the toiletry bag from the drawer.

 

-

 

 _God_ their bathroom needed a good cleaning. Like a thorough scrub down of everything. And they should probably buy the girls new towels soon. They were growing out of the baby hooded ones with the unicorn horns and the rainbow manes that Eskild had gotten them as a paternity gift. They also needed to change one of the tiny light bulbs of the spots in the ceiling, which was always a headache. Isak also took a mental note to remember to stock up on hand soap and new tooth brushes, while he was at it.

 

Those were the kind of insights you’d get when spending an extended amount of time in the bathroom and forgetting to bring your phone. At least he was being useful and efficient, while doing his second round. _Multi-tasking_ if you will. While waiting it out.

 

Giving it _time_.

 

Which was crucial, he’d learned the hard way back in the day. Rookie mistake. Thank god they had been so drunk on love, it wasn’t even that awkward. No biggie. Nothing a new set of sheets and a shower couldn’t fix. They had laughed and decided it could go in the pile of inappropriate, funny stories for their romantic wedding speeches some day.

 

Well maybe not _romantic_ , but funny. Definitely inappropriate.

 

Admittedly, Isak had been rather relieved eight years later when they both agreed to go with slightly more traditional wedding speeches. That the funny and sweet cartoon Even had made of their life together to accompany his words didn’t mix romantic drawings of their first kiss, their first trip abroad, their first shared set of keys with a _haha-remember-that-one-time_ doodle.

 

“Isak?” Even knocked on the door. “Jonas is early.”

 

 _Ugh_.

 

Isak loved Jonas to pieces, no doubt about it. They had history, stayed friends through _everything_. The ups and downs of life, especially Isak’s. And Isak had been happy to help, when Jonas finally needed to cash in some of that goodwill and crash on the couch for a few months last year, trying to get back on his feet after the divorce. Him and Julie were taking turns couch-surfing one week and staying in the house with the kids the next. Isak had pulled some strings and gotten Jonas an apartment fairly close by, so the transition into a new life with two homes wouldn’t be too hard on the kids.

 

It had been nice to give back a bit, and Jonas had gotten really close with the girls in those months too. Close enough to still occasionally come over for playdates on the Sundays he didn’t have his own kids, or take them all on day trips to the forest or bring them along for soccer games.

 

_“Isak, it’s not double the work with four kids. One kid takes up all your time, right? So does four.”_

 

Jonas would smile and insist Isak and Even took time to themselves, time to be _boyfriends_ , a fleeting sadness in his eyes you would only notice if you knew he was speaking from experience.

 

After Jonas had started dating again they had seen a little less of him, but when things started to get serious with Camila, he came over again to invite the girls with them on family trips, perhaps to deflate some of the initial awkwardness that inevitably comes with trying to introduce your moody, pre-pubescent nine and seven year olds to your new girlfriend.

 

Isak loved him, he really did, but he also had his _routine_ , and appreciated being able to take his time with it, so frankly speaking now was more than a little inconvenient.

 

“He brought lunch. Says he texted you.”

 

Another reason to not forget your phone when you go for a 45 minute bathroom break.

 

“Okay, just give me a minute.” He looked down at the task at hand, thinking about it further. “Or two. I’ll be out soon.” Isak said, stepping into the shower.

 

Two rounds would have to do.

 

-

 

Isak stepped into the dining room less than fifteen minutes later to find more food than he could remember ever having seen on his table before.

 

 _Porotos Granadas_ stew with fresh beans and mashed corn along with corn-based pies and _humitas_ . Pumpkin fries and huge, deep-fried empanadas with _pino_ \- a stuffing made with minced meat, onions, raisins, black olives and hard-boiled eggs - that Isak was pretty sure could pump up anyone’s cholesterol levels just by _looking_ at it. _Cazuela_ soup with beef and _pan amasado_ bread with _pebre_ , the signature hot chili pepper sauce that Isak could eat like it were a bowl of ice cream if ever he was allowed to. There were even large pints of _mote con huesillos_ , a traditional sweet drink made with peach nectar, dried peaches and husked wheat that always brought out childhood memories of warm summer nights at the bonfire in Jonas’ garden.

 

Isak had always loved Jonas’ mom’s food and to be honest, as a kid sometimes he’d come over late in the afternoon just so she’d ask him to stay for dinner.

 

But while this was a welcome surprise - the timing could have been better.

 

Everyone was already sat at the table, including Jonas’ kids, Ella and Alexander. The girls were up from their nap as well and already fighting over the food, somehow always finding the other one’s practically identical plate more interesting.

 

“My mom has been teaching Camila how to cook traditional chilean food, and I’ve told her how much you love it, so uhm.. we brought some” Jonas smiled, sending Isak a pleading look.

 

It did look good. Really good. Isak tried to fight back his stomach’s growling at the delicious smell. Not to be rude, but he kinda had plans for a different kind of growling that didn’t really involve a prior intake of excessive amounts of food.

 

“Yes, it’s quite different from arabic recipes, so I improvised a little and made everything a little extra spicy for you.” Camila send him a wry smile. “Jonas says you like it spicy right?”

 

_Fuck._

 

“Yeah Isak _loves_ spicy food. Don’t you babe?” Even was grinning from the other end of the table, and Isak decided against his urge to flip him off, instead choosing a well executed look that said _“I hate you and will end you.”_

 

“Uhm sure. Yes.” Isak sat down in front of the only empty plate on the table, food quickly piling up.

 

As everyone dig into their own plates, Isak was busy trying to look like he was eating his own. Cutting it up in smaller pieces and moving it around the plate, hoping that small talk about the soccer game and Ella’s upcoming birthday would draw attention away from his still full dish.

 

“Daddy! No playing with food. Food goes in mouth” Olivia scolded, brows furrowed and index finger pointing at her mouth, clearly mimicking words she had been told before, probably by Isak himself.

 

_My kids are jerks and have no loyalties._

 

It had the entire table laughing, except Camila who was smiling nervously, a worry in her warm brown eyes that left Isak no other choice but to take a large bite of one of the empanadas on his plate, lathered in pebre, and nod exaggeratedly as he stuffed his mouth full yet again. To be honest, it did taste amazing. Sweet and spicy and excessively greasy, and the absolute _worst_ idea after a thorough douching.

 

_Shit. Literally._

 

Isak sent Even an apologetic look. Well, annoyed and irritated more than apologetic, as Even grinned at him clearly amused, fighting back a laugh as he wiped Ava’s sticky fingers with a napkin.

 

“Have some more” Jonas offered, wiping his mouth and sending more plates full of food up the table.

 

“Yeah have some more, babe” Even repeated, too smug for his own good. “Isak’s always hungry, I barely get to eat _anything_ myself” he kept teasing from the other end of the table, conveniently out of kicking distance.

 

_My husband is a jerk and has no loyalties. That’s where the girls get it from._

 

“Are you Ella and Alex’s new mommy?” Ava suddenly asked, mouth full of corn bread, pointing at Camila and Isak felt his toes curl, yet another bodily reaction he had originally planned to play out quite differently.

 

He stuffed his mouth full of food yet again and hummed loudly to drown out the awkward silence before Camila and Jonas proceeded to try to explain the concept of a girlfriend.

 

“Do you also have a girlfriend, daddy?” Olivia continued, and Isak took a big sip of his mote con huesillos, pointing at Even to explain a second concept he wasn’t prepared to deal with today.

 

Even smiled, shaking his head fondly at Isak and sending another plate of food up the table to him, knowing full well that their initial plans for the afternoon were long off the table.

 

-

 

“You _know_ I don’t handle awkward situations well!” Isak sighed, putting another box of leftovers in the fridge. “I’m sorry”

 

“Well you should be. You missed out on some Grade A rimming there, babe” Even grinned, turning Isak around. Pressing him up against the kitchen counter, he leaned in to lick teasingly over his lips, biting a little, instantly making Isak regret everything.

 

“I _know_.” Isak groaned again, pouting slightly.

 

“Lucky for you…” Even leaned back a bit to lock eyes with Isak, still grinding teasingly against him. Soft rocking motions resulting in two very hard dicks. “I give Grade A blowjobs too”

 

“Yeah they’re decent I guess” Isak sighed, rolling his eyes exaggeratedly.

 

“ _Decent ?!_ ” Even snorted, stepping back a bit, brows furrowed and a hand clenching at his t-shirt like Isak had just shot him in the chest.

 

Soon though, his brows softened in their usual wiggle before Even lunged at him, instantly dropping to his knees.

 

“I’ll show you _decent_.”

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments feed our egos  
> Comments feed our egos  
> Comments feed our egos
> 
> I never lie.
> 
> Okay, maybe there's a lie in there somewhere.
> 
> <3
> 
>  
> 
> **Twitter:**  
> [SkamSnake](https://mobile.twitter.com/skamsnake1)
> 
>  
> 
> **Tumblr:**  
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> [SkamSnake](https://skamsnake.tumblr.com/)


	6. Knowing what you know now, would you do it again?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "And you're hot and sexy and gorgeous and your dick is huge."
> 
> "I fucking know!!"

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- I have a whale for a pet.  
> \- He shares a room with my dragon.  
> -Kudos and comments **REALLY DO** motivate and encourage us.
> 
> Two of those are lies.
> 
> Y'all know the drill. <333  
> Hope this made you smile.  
>  **Twitter:**  
> [SkamSnake](https://mobile.twitter.com/skamsnake1)
> 
>  
> 
> **Tumblr:**  
> [NeonViolet](https://Pinkskam.tumblr.com/)  
> [SkamSnake](https://skamsnake.tumblr.com/)


	7. Male Irritable Syndrome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I don’t know, I’m just hormonal. That’s a thing right? Male Irritable Syndrome? I read about that once”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all need fluff sometimes (I needed fluff, okAY?!) Go get it, lovelies! <3
> 
> Full disclosure, this chapter turned out a little too autobiographical I realise, when daddy Isak ordered a sneezing, half-asleep Even to snort eucalyptus (yes Tabby, I’m drinking water ffs!) so apologies in advance!
> 
> As always she made the whole thing readable AND she’s pretty (and has a huge dick). 
> 
> And finally, to all the Hilde’s out there.. Fuck OFF! (Not the *actual* Hilde’s out there, just the ones who inspired this fic)

“So mom’s a a royal asshole” Even sighed and put both feet on the coffee table as silently as possible, so Isak wouldn’t hear. “What else is new.”

 

“Your words, not mine” Isak chuckled humorlessly at the other end of the line. “What’d she do this time?”

 

“Nothing out of the ordinary. Just her usual insensitive self, mixed with a good amount of ignorance and not-so-subtle racism. A pinch of homophobia to top it all off.”

 

“Sounds like Hilde” Isak agreed.

 

“Olivia was admiring her putting on lipstick tonight,” Even continued. “Then told her how much she wanted to look like her when she got old.” He smiled at the memory.

 

“Ouch buuurn” Isak laughed “Nice one, Ollie!”

 

“Yeah children and fools speak the truth, right? Well of course Hilde _had_ to correct her. Told her she’s not going to look anything like her, because she isn’t her _real_ grandmother, _‘so I guess we’ll never know but that’s probably for the better, dear.’”_ Even parodied.

 

“Fuck.”

 

“Yeah. So we read _Tango Makes Three_ twice tonight and looked at the map and the pictures and talked about mommy a lot before bedtime.” He took a burning sip from his cup. “Talked about how mommy loved them so much that she gave them to us because she wanted to make sure they were safe, to which Ava responded by grabbing the book and hitting Olivia over the head with it. So,”

 

“Good.” He paused for a moment, tone a little more worried. “But, the girls are okay?”

 

“Yeah they’re okay. Lucky for them they didn’t have to go back downstairs and listen to her complain about you travelling so much and her son always having to be the _wife_ of the household, which dad then tried to explain to her was both homophobic _and_ sexist. Add the touch of racism from earlier and she really hit the trifecta of offensive and problematic conversations today.” Even took another sip and leaned back tiredly on the couch. “Just another Friday night at the Bech-Næsheim’s.”

 

“Right.” Isak sighed. “And your dad, how’s he?”

 

“Awesome, as always. I don’t know why he puts up with her honestly.” Even shook his head. “He’s been helping quite a bit with the girls this past week, with the grocery shopping and stuff too. So now I’m just looking at the three piles of toys I have to put away and the two piles of laundry that never made it from the bathroom floor to the washing machine and the stack of plates in the sink and the other stack of papers I have to grade for monday and—“

 

“Baby, how are _you_ feeling?”

 

A whine escaped from the back of his throat at his husband’s worried words.

 

“I miss you, man. I mean, it gets easier after that first few days of chaos you know? You sort of find your routine. Like now, I only have to cook properly for the girls and just have my midnight noodles that you hate with all your heart. And like, I can wear my Biggie shirt all weekend without you complaining about the smell or calling me too old and in denial or whatever—”

 

“That shirt is a disgrace. It has holes in both armpits and there _is_ a permanent smell that refuses to leave regardless of how often I wash it. Take it off, please.”

 

“I’m not wearing it. I’m just saying I _could_ —“

 

“So what you’re _really_ saying is, it’s easier when I’m gone?” Isak teased.

 

“No!” He stopped himself before Isak had time to catch the lie. “Well yes, in some ways. But I wouldn’t give you up for anything.” Even said, reassuringly. “I mean, except maybe a _really_ good au pair? I would definitely trade you in for a nanny.”

 

“Taking from your mom’s I see.”

 

“How dare you?!” Even didn’t even have to pretend to be affronted. But Isak’s laughter on the other end of the line was a decent balm.

 

“No really, I miss your grumpy ass baby.” Even took a deep breath and sighed. “Maybe I just miss your ass? I don’t know, I’m just hormonal. That’s a thing right? Male Irritable Syndrome? I read about that once”

 

“You’re asking _me_ about hormonal cycles?” Isak snorted.

 

“Yes? You’re the one who knows about biology and stuff.”

 

“I’m an engineer, Even.”

 

“You got a 5 in biology, didn’t you?”

 

“In high school, Even. That’s ten years ago.”

 

“Definitely more than ten years ago.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“Anyways, it’s a thing, and I have it. I’m tense and moody and I’m eating the girls’ candy like it’s fucking christmas.” Even grabbed a handful of Ava’s leftover Friday gummy bears from the bowl next to him and stuffed his mouth full, wincing a little as he realised she’d definitely had a tasting only to put some used ones back in the bowl. “And I think I’m getting a cold too.”

 

“Babe!”

 

“Mmhmm?” Even offered, mouth shamelessly full of gummy bears.

 

“You know what I’m gonna say right?”

 

“I do.” he swallowed.

 

“Water. Lots of water. Flush that motherfucker out!”

 

“Mmh.” One more handful of gummy bears.

 

“Hot water with lemon and honey. Essential oils, preferably eucalyptus. We still have that eucalyptus oil I bought, right? Hot steamy showers. Or baths. Lots of sleep. Are you getting enough sleep babe? Stop eating Ava’s half used gummy bears and get some healthy snacks. Oranges or blueberries. You hear me?”

 

“Yes, _daddy._ ”

 

“I don’t appreciate the attitude.”

 

“What, I’m drinking water right now?! Like, really cold, cube-shaped water with whiskey on it.” Even twirled the glass, making sure Isak could here the clinking sound over the phone.

 

“Babe, don’t make me come over there!”

 

“Mm.. make _me_ cum over here instead?” Even pushed his free hand inside his sweats, ignoring the stickiness of the sugar in his palm.

 

“Gross.”

 

“You love me.”

 

“I do, can you believe? And if it helps, I fucking miss you and the girls too. My team is a mess and I’m getting claustrophobic out here on the platform. You know I need my space and my daily break away from people, and there are people everywhere. _Everywhere_ , Even”

 

“I know baby. One more week.”

 

“One more week.” Isak sighed. “I could use a new job.”

 

“I could use a _job_ right now too you know...” Even tried to put on his sexy voice.

 

“Even.” Isak sighed

 

“Sorry. So what did you do today, Mr. Engineer?”

 

“You don’t want to hear about my boring day at work.”

 

“I do! Tell me everything.”

 

“ _Really_?!” Isak dragged out the word deliberately to sound sceptical. “You always fall asleep when I talk about work.”

 

“You’re my husband, and life partner, and love of my life, and all that other crap. I want to know all about your day.”

 

“Romantic.” Isak muttered unamused. “But okay.” He took a deep breath before beginning. “So we’re implementing this new genetic algorithm based back propagation artificial neural network model, right? And—“

 

“Yeah you’re right, I don’t want to hear about it.”

 

“See?”

 

“I’m kidding! Tell me about your algorithms, babe”

 

“Brat.”

 

“You love me”

 

“Barely. Okay, so we use it to predict MMP, that’s short for Minimum Miscibility Pressure, okay?”

 

“Sounds hot.”

 

“Ugh.” Isak groaned, making sure Even could _hear_ the eyeroll over the phone. “Well we used that for both pure and impure CO2 injection cases, and— Even are you jerking off?”

 

“No.”

 

“You’re breathing heavier”

 

“Am not. Ke-ep go-ing” Even stuttered, practically panting.

 

“You sure you don’t want me to talk about my hands on your dick instead?”

 

“I mean, if you want? Like apply that Minimum Miscibility Pressure right there below my head, or something?” Even smiled at his own joke.

 

“Do you even know what miscibility is, Even?”

 

“Explain it to me. Make it sexy.”

 

“Well it’s not sexy. It’s the property of substances to mix in all proportions. That is, to fully dissolve in each other at any concentration, forming a homogeneous solution.”

 

“That all sounds…” Even grunted. “...pretty sexy to me.”

 

“Now you’re definitely jerking off”

 

The sound of a loud exhale filled the line.

 

“Was. Thanks.”

 

“God, you’re such a teenager.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“Then take off that ancient Biggie shirt, please. Feet off the coffee table too.”

 

Even stretched and yawned. “I’ll have you know I’m wearing age appropriate attire and my feet are placed perfectly on the floor where they’re supposed to be.”

 

“Even.”

 

“ _Okaaay._ ” Even took down his feet and zipped up his hoodie over the worn out fabric where the letters were fading, yawning again. “You want me to return the favor? I can take your minimum masturbility—“

 

“Miscibility”

 

“That’s what I said, your minimum miscibility pressure, too?” Even sneezed. Then sneezed again.

 

“You’re tired, baby. And getting sick. Get some sleep, okay? We’ll facetime with the girls in the morning right?”

 

“Of course. But I want to do this for you too, baby. I love you. And you’re pretty, and your dick is huge”

 

“I know, but—“

 

“Pretentious.”

 

“I meant the part about you loving me and all that.”

 

“Sure, you did.”

 

“I said what I said. And you need to get rest so you can get well okay? You need to get yourself upstairs, drink a bottle of water and bring another one to bed, wear a hoodie to sweat it out okay? A hot steamy shower first thing in the morning before the girls get up. Some nice chamomile tea with lemon, _yes_ I know you hate chamomile but it helps, okay? Try not to breathe on the girls. Remember your vitamins too, did you remember to get new ones? I left a note on the fridge. Even?”

 

“Even?” Isak tried again, getting nothing in response but the warm sound of Even’s heavy breathing and soft snoring.

 

Isak sighed and smiled. “Sweet dreams, baby. I love you” he whispered. “And my dick is huge.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments bring SKAM ba-
> 
> You know what, just give us the damn comments okay? (pleasepleaseplease) My Male Irritable Syndrome is killing me tonight AND I have a cold!
> 
> (It’s funny cause it’s true)
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	8. Daddy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There’s a clang followed by a deep huff of breath behind him. He looks back to see the gentleman in the table next to them covered in some crumbs and a splash of fruit juice. 
> 
> Ava must be done with lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When you’re having a tough few days and writing this verse helps a little. 
> 
> We love free therapy.

_Fuck_ , he missed this.

 

The tell tale _slap-slap_ of skin against skin and the loud, rhythmic thudding of their bedpost rocking up against the wall, leaving yet another mark to accompany the plethora of other ones documenting how many times they moved the bed already.

 

He really _really_ missed this.

 

Even’s hand on his hips, the other coming up to his lips to offer him something to suck on, something to bite down on as Isak rides him faster, muffled moans and whimpers escaping his mouth nonetheless.

 

And it isn’t just the sex. It’s the smell of their fabric softener and the feel of their old, worn out bed sheets wrapped around him and the stack of laundry on the chair that somehow always gets folded but never makes it to the drawer. It’s the stuffed animal that Even pulls out from under his back mid-fuck and throws on the floor to join the rest of the clutter there, including that single Lego brick Isak always _always_ manages to step on barefoot.

 

It’s knowing the girls are fast asleep in their room, even if it had brought him to tears to find their cribs replaced with big girl beds while he was away, now dressed in pink, politically incorrect princess bedding and glittering canopies. It was tears over the milestone and reminder that his daughters were growing up much too quickly, as much as it was joy that they had managed to keep those little fuckers alive and well for almost three whole years.

 

It’s the feeling of his husband under him. Warm and horny and a little out of breath, _they’re in their thirties for god’s sake_ , and it’s the passion still there after all these years, at least when they’re getting a proper night’s sleep and even remotely nutritious food—

 

“Daddy?”

 

Isak jumps, head snapping in the direction of the door, startled from the unexpected intrusion of a child calling his name while his husband is still inside of him, and dizzy from the too quick movement of his head. He makes an aborted movement, rushing to remain covered but instead finds himself tumbling off the bed and onto the floor face first in nothing but a thin sheet, inwardly scowling at every horror movie that’s somehow managed to make him inherently scared of children in the dark.

 

“Feet first, Daddy” Ava yawns, rubbing her eyes.

 

“What is it, baby girl?” Even gets up from the bed too, briefs pulled up already because they never managed to get them off fully.

 

“Feet first. That’s what you say Pappa.” she says half asleep, while a giggling Even explains how he’s taught the girls to always get out of their big girl beds feet first to not fall and hurt themselves. Apparently Ava manages it just fine - Olivia could use some more practice.

 

“No kidding.” Isak replies drily, sitting up slowly, rubbing at his sore jaw and wincing at the tenderness he finds there.

 

And it’s this. Ava worming her way through the sheets to her spot, her eyes still closed like a mole, going on instinct. And it’s Even, going into the girls’ room and picking up Ollie, bringing her to their bed, because that’s her spot too.

 

It’s _all_ of it. It’s home.

 

-

 

“Daaaaddy!” The high piercing shrill of Olivia’s scream tears through the restaurant as Isak willfully ignores the stares from the other patrons and focuses his attention on Ava, who is currently in a state of blissful ignorance, only achieved by tiny people within the ages of two and three, while she sways in her seat, double fisting her own French fries in one hand and her sisters’ in another.

 

Isak pushes away from the table, moving his chair in between the two of them, something he should have done once they arrived, and swiftly snatches several fries from Ava’s plate and places them onto Olivia’s, pressing a lingering kiss on her head to fully commit to the placating. The goal is achieved, with Olivia shoveling the food into her mouth, only a few wayward sniffles as evidence she’d been crying at all.

 

He grabs a grape from Ava’s plate, popping it into his mouth with exaggerated chews and a gleeful smile while she glares at him and pushes her plate aside to try and keep it out of his reach. He bends down anyway, giving her a kiss as well - and just like he expects, she leans into it - petulant scowl still on her face.

 

If you’d asked Isak two years ago if he could ever have a favorite child, he’d have vehemently denied the claim. He had been too anxious to be a dad to even one child, and when news came that the girls’ mom was having twins, he’d been doubly excited, horrified, and in love with the idea. They filled a space in his heart he hadn’t known was empty and he never looked back.

 

Now, though - he isn’t so sure. He loves them both limitlessly and unconditionally. He also wants to wring their necks in equal measure on an almost daily basis. They both genuinely bring out the best and worst in him, (as does his husband). But maybe, some days, he thinks Ava is his favorite.

 

It’s not that he gives her any more attention or affection than Olivia - he can just relate to her better. He understands the desire to take what you want and not care who you step on along the way. He likes the way Ava throws herself into things fearlessly and prefers to wreak havoc than to remain passive. It’s just something he _gets._

 

It’s not to say that he doesn’t love Olivia or find himself obsessed with his tender hearted daughter. She has this cute habit of sitting on his lap and squeezing his cheeks while looking him in the eye whenever he’s in a foul mood. And Ava could literally poop on her head and Ollie would still turn around and give her sister her favorite toy. It’s sweet, but they’re gonna have to work on giving that girl a backbone.

 

The point is - he might have a favorite. But he thinks the world should redefine that word.

 

There’s a clang followed by a deep huff of breath behind him. He looks back to see the gentleman in the table next to them covered in some crumbs and a splash of fruit juice.

 

Ava must be done with lunch.

 

-

 

“Olivia, I swear to god, if you don’t sit still you won’t have the chance to get on the slide at all.” He’s mumbling mostly to himself, Ollie more interested in moving her face out of his reach so he can’t wipe her nose rather than actually  listening to any word he has to say to her. He manages to pin her in between his thighs where he is sitting on the bench, and swiftly cleans her face before finally releasing her back into the wild, otherwise known as the city’s’ children’s playground.

 

He watches her run over the mulch, unzipping the sweater he just fastened to keep the slight chill of the breeze away from her, tripping on herself three times before finally reaching the short plastic slide and bypassing the steps completely in order to climb up the actual slide itself - much to the dismay of the child waiting patiently at the top and the disapproving stare from said child’s parent.

 

He should probably do something. Get up and redirect her. Make this a teaching moment about how important it is to take turns. It’s the right thing to do, probably. Instead, he leans back on the bench, shoving his hands into his pockets, not even grimacing when they touch the used tissue he just used on Ollie and had forgotten he placed in their absentmindedly, and decides it’s equally as wise to let Olivia and her peers learn to sort out their own disagreements. Critical Thinking For Toddlers: 101.

 

Satisfied and proud of his great parenting decision, he scans the playground for Ava - eyes landing on a lump covered in a lime-green dress and yellow jacket strewn across the grass in front of the swings, eyes closed like she’s napping, but he knows she’s lost somewhere in her own hellscape of a mind. She is also currently preventing any other child from using that swing safely and he lets out a loud laugh at the pure, unadulterated public disruption that is the Valtersen girl’s.

 

He pulls his phone out and snaps a quick picture, sending it to Even, knowing he’ll get a kick out of Ava’s careless attitude.

 

His phone buzzes almost immediately with a response.

 

**Baby Daddy**

 

So, you skipped work and  
taught the girls to play hookie?  
Why? ‘Cause they “missed you”?

 

First of all, not sure why that’s in quotes.  
Of course they missed me, implying  
anything else is offensive and rude.

 

And second I had every intention to  
go to work and send them to school.  
But then they cried and I started  
crying and honestly it was better this way.

 

They cry every day. And so do you.  
That’s like a typical Tuesday for us.

 

Would you like to be the pot or the kettle?

 

No idea what you're referring to.

 

Tell me again about your diet and what  
you fed the girls while I was gone.

 

We all drank water five times a day  
and ate green beans with every meal.

 

Including dessert.

 

I’m leaving you.  
Have fun finding an ass this  
tight in your old age.

 

You’re leaving me?!  
I knew I should have made you sign  
a pre-nup!

 

[middle finger emoji]

 

Love you more.

 

**__________**

 

Glancing back up towards Olivia, who is now standing at the top of the slide, affectionately petting the heads of any child wishing to ride down, he gets up off the bench and walks towards Ava, deciding Olivia is fine for the time being and it’s safe enough to attempt some interaction with his oldest.

 

He stands over her, looking down and waits for her to sense his presence. He waits a few moments more and when she doesn’t react, nudges her hip with the toe of his shoe.

 

Two brown eyes open up, glaring at the intrusion and softening when she spots her father. He nudges her hip again.

 

“Swings?”

 

She remains silent and instead gets up in reply, quickly making her way to the swing behind her and holding her arms up expectantly for Isak to pick her up and place her in the belted harness.

 

Another glance at Olivia (still petting the heads of children, but now planted at the bottom of the slide as they exit) and he stands in front of Ava, pushing her higher and making _whooshing_ noises with every shove, something she finds endlessly amusing. A giggle forming in her stomach and gurgling out of her throat deep and smooth - a sound so utterly _Ava._ Secretly, he believes that she laughs more for his amusement then her own. He thinks she’s really just a hyper-intelligent alien disguised as his kid, and she spends her nights contacting her home planet with ridiculous stories of the dumb humans she lives with.

 

The theory has some holes in it. He’s working on it. It’s fine.

 

Olivia’s scream interrupts any illusion of calm he has for the second time today, and with an anxious clench in his chest he snaps his head in her direction, stopping the swing by its chains, plucking a protesting Ava from the seat and jogging towards the slide where two sour faced adults are crouched over a pile of tiny limbs - several of which belong to Olivia.

 

He kneels in front of her, lifting her up and placing his hand on her face and running it over her head, worry coursing through him and eyes searching for visible injuries as Ollie continues a scream and sob combination, interrupted by intermittent hiccups and the sound of the crying boy beside her - his own parents trying to be heard over the commotion.

 

One look at the younger boy’s arms shows teeth marks (no broken skin, _thank god_ ) and he aims his horrified expression at his daughter, hoping to ignore a condescending scolding from the parents beside him and also trying to figure out why the hell Ollie bit this child.

 

Reading his mind, she curls into his neck, tears and spit running onto his collar and she forces out the words “He pushed and kicked me.” Voice breaking and shaking in her delivery.

 

Another squeeze in his chest as he realizes Olivia was defending herself against a playground bully (fucking, toddlers) and he wraps his arms around her waist, lifting her up and turning around to have a word with the boy’s parents, when gasps from the adults and another cry from the boy steals his attention.

 

“Don’t hurt my sister!” Ava is hovering over the child who is now pushed onto his back, presumably violently placed into that position by Ava herself, and she gives him one more shove to his shoulders before standing up, fists clenched to her side in a fit of tension that could rival his own.

 

“Shit!” Isak lets the curse word out by mistake - pure instinct, really. More dramatic gasps from the crowd at his verbal slip in front of children, and he clamps his mouth shut, adjusting Oliva in his left arm, lifting Ava by her waist sideways, so she’s parallel to the ground, and makes his way out of the gate of the park - a crying Olivia in one arm and a screaming and indignant Ava in the other.

 

It’s fine.

 

-

 

Sometimes Isak thinks he’s a masochist. That he likes the mental strain and emotional test of his patience and nerves. Because after their early lunch that wasn’t terrible, but wasn’t great either,  and then their collective failure at being able to interact with other human beings in a socially acceptable manner (he’s referring to the three of them) really he should just call it quits and head home. The girls still haven’t napped and it’d be irresponsible to do anything other than make sure they get home in time to rest.

 

But he must like the pain, because after arriving at the car and making sure both girls were injury free and calmed down with a packet of gummy snacks - he decides today would be a great time to surprise Even at work with the twins. And yeah, he was surprised. And so was the 12 year old who just completed some complicated diagram of a cell and got to watch it fall to its demise when an impatient and over-tired Ava kicked the shelf it was standing on. And as it turns out, Henrik, the school custodian, was also surprised to see the girls. Especially when one of them (we will never know who it was at this point) got into his supply cart and unraveled two and a half oversized roles of toilet paper. And yes, maybe Isak and Even were busy flirting with each other, and made the mistake of taking their eyes off of the girls for 3.5 seconds (because that is all the time it took for their signature destruction to take place) but the point is - a lot of people were surprised today.

 

And truly, Isak wishes the story ended there. Because really, he would come out the hero in this if it had. Or at least salvage it enough to seem like it. But he only has himself to blame for deciding to take the girls shopping. He’d been meaning to buy some new bath towels and a new set of pans anyway, and he was already out, so where was the harm?

 

Maybe fatherhood has desensitized him to screams and noise and the severe irritations that would normally drive a sane person to rip their hair out slowly. Maybe Isak just isn’t sane anymore to begin with, and all this insanity _is_ his _normal_. Maybe he knows what it’s like to have these two children locked up within the four walls of his home and he thinks the rest of the world should have to experience what he does on a regular basis, so he’s being petty and passive aggressive. Maybe it’s a combination of it all. Whatever it is, it drives him to place two whiny girls in a shopping cart that doesn’t fit either of them, and push them around a home  & linens store that has zero things they would desire and does nothing to hold their attention long enough for Isak to actually complete the errand.

 

His breaking point, surprisingly enough, isn’t Olivia crying for no apparent reason and refusing to use her words when he asks what’s wrong. It’s not Ava kicking the inside of the shopping cart over and over, rattling the plastic against metal hinges as she sings a toddler-slurred version of “I’m sexy and I know it!” at the top of her lungs over and over again. (They need to start censoring the music they listen to more carefully). And it wasn’t the disaster of curtains that came tumbling down from their displays because Ava grabbed a hold of them as he pushed the cart by them, his daughter refusing to let go.

 

What finally made up his mind for him was the overwhelming and debilitating fatigue that wracked through him as they approached a checkout counter and he realized he would have to unload the girls from the car when they got home, _and_ make trips back for the heavy pans and bags of grey and beige terry-cloth towels. It was the extra trips that did him in, making him swiftly lift the girls from their perch, abandoning the cart in the middle of the store in a hurry, and rushing the three of them back out to the car in a frenzy, all of a sudden anxious to get home.

 

And that fatigue is still running through his veins and covering his bones as he closes the door to their bedroom, both monsters fast asleep and snoring like their father (Even). He takes a calming breath, exhausted from the day and worn out from the emotions of putting them to sleep in their big girl beds for a second night in a row as he makes his way back downstairs and into the waiting arms of his worried and amused husband. He sinks into the embrace, his whole body a dead weight on Even as he holds him up, back pressed against the kitchen counter and hands running up and down his spine, simultaneously soothing while getting the blood flowing back in his body.

 

“Babe…” Even’s voice is a familiar and calming rumble against his temple where it rests against his neck.

 

Isak grunts back in response. That’s all he has left in him to give.

 

A hand comes to the back of his head, light scratches and deep circles running from the base of his head to the base of his neck and back again.

 

“What the hell were you thinking today?”

 

He snorts. Well, he tries to. His body only manages a slight convulsion in his chest with some sound being released from his mouth.

 

Because honestly, what was he thinking? Other than, of course, how much he missed the girls for the two weeks he had been gone. How even their tantrums and utter lack of tact or inhibitions was better than not having them for the day. How the sobbing that began in the back seat when he approached daycare this morning tore at him from the inside out - knowing the girls didn’t want to be separated from him anymore than he did. That’s what he had been thinking.

 

And now, it all seems so far away. Like it had been much more than just twelve hours ago when he made the last minute decision to skip work and school altogether to spend it with Ava and Olivia. A decision he didn’t necessarily regret - but in hindsight, wished he had thought through a little more carefully.

 

And maybe that’s what he should do more often - think things through. But apparently putting that into practice will have to wait, because now words are forming and he’s letting them fall out of his mouth with little disregard to the consequences and snowball effect they may have.

 

“Baby.” He lifts his head from Even’s chest minutely, placing it back when he feels how heavy it is to hold up.

 

“Hmm.” It’s Even’s turn to mutter sounds instead of words, his ministrations on Isaks back and neck not ceasing.

 

“I want another baby.”

 

And while his heart flat lines momentarily at the sudden stillness of his husband beneath him and the sound of his voice constructing those four words into that specific sentence - he finds that he really does mean it.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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> 
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End file.
